I always wanted to be a teacher when I grew up. I mean always. My grade six teacher used to make fun of me for it. I don’t remember a time when that wasn’t what I was striving for. That is until 2007 when I was finishing a B.A. A few years earlier I had had a profound conversion through members of CCO. I had gone from wondering if God exists to inviting Him to be at the center of my life, and that changed everything I did. So when it came time to apply to teacher’s college, I wondered if maybe I should apply for CCO staff instead. I felt overwhelmed and incapable of focusing on both while keeping up with my courses. So I asked God to make clear to me what He wanted me to do – to increase my desire for one and to extinguish my desire for the other. He did just that. I was left with the desire I had always known: to be a teacher.
About a year later, I was a student in teacher’s college. I was excelling in my courses and practicums. It was everything I had dreamed of but I didn’t feel fulfilled. I attended Rise Up 2008 in Toronto with a heavy heart, asking God where He wanted me in September. On the last night of the conference, a special announcement was made: in September, CCO would be expanding their efforts by sending a team to Québec for the first time. My heart stopped. I turned to the person next to me and said, “I think I want to go.”
I thought I was crazy. I barely passed as bilingual and I wanted to be a part of the first CCO team in Quebec. What was I thinking? It was so crazy that I was convinced it wasn’t my idea but the Holy Spirit’s. So I applied for staff, but I still thought that there had to be someone better for the job. Obviously there was someone more qualified, with better French, less of an introvert, etc.
I couldn’t believe it went I was accepted to staff and asked to be a part of the Quebec team. I thought there must be a mistake. Why would God want to send me? Then He answered me:
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you came to birth I consecrated you; I appointed you as prophet to the nations.” I then said, “Ah, ah, ah, Lord Yahweh; you see, I do not know how to speak: I am only a child!” But Yahweh replied, “Do not say, "I am only a child," for you must go to all to whom I send you and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of confronting them, for I am with you to rescue you, Yahweh declares.” Then Yahweh stretched out his hand and touched my mouth, and Yahweh said to me: “There! I have put my words into your mouth.” Jer 1: 5-9.
It was me who God wanted to send. I was privileged to be a part of the first team in Quebec. It was the first of many privileges I’ve had serving with CCO. In fact, every experience I have prepares me for the next one, which I always seem to be less qualified for. Even my teacher’s college days prepared me for staff. Through my call to staff, I learned that God doesn’t always call the equipped, but He always equips the called.