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Campus, Campus Life, Carleton, CCO, Faith, Student Leadership -

Finding Beauty in the Difficulties

“Every sinner has a future, and every saint has a past.” This is a quote a friend sent me a couple days ago that really stuck with him and I can say it really stuck with me as well.  We are all called to be saints and life is going to be rough and difficult at times, however this reminded me that even saints had rough pasts. So far this summer I know that God has been working in my life in many different ways. My only problem is hearing what he is saying and doing it. I know he is there, however I don’t know what he is saying. We all go through times where we feel distant from God. It can be for a short period of time or a long period of time - from two seconds to 15 years - but it’s how you react in those situations that bring you back. I personally feel a little bit distant from God right now but I am trying my very best to get back to where I was before. Summer has always been my weakest season. Most people can’t wait for the summer to start. I, on the other hand, love the weather and the lack of work but I have yet to experience a summer where I don’t lose myself in some way or another. It’s almost as if I fall into a mini-depression. About a week ago I had a terrible day and just broke down in tears. I was just done for the day (even though it just started). I woke up late for work for the second day in a row and knew that I would once again be in trouble. That little thing brought me over the edge and at that moment my world came crashing down.  I did get in trouble at work and was sent home early but I knew it was the best decision for me because I wasn’t sure if I would have been able to work an eight hour shift in that condition. My parents were right there with me and helping me through this rough start to a day. I can’t even begin to imagine that day without them. God was with me throughout the whole day but I only really acknowledged him in the morning.  As the day progressed I began to feel further and further away from anything good. God was there but I just felt so distant from him and sadly I didn’t even have the urge to say a prayer or talk to him in my biggest time of need.  God didn’t give up that easily however; he fought so that I would have some reminder of him in my night of sadness. I texted some friends who quickly reminded me to talk to God and give him everything I’m feeling, to remove myself from the bad place I was in and the people I was around at that moment. God has blessed me with a great family and many friends that have helped me in many situations. I am so happy to have all of them. He has blessed me with the chance to deepen some friendships to ones I cannot imagine my life without. These people have helped me through so many things and I am beyond grateful to them. Writing this has helped me see the beauty in even the bad things that happen. That God is always here for us even if we can’t see it at that moment. I often have questions of what to do this summer, what God wants me to do this summer, and where to go from here. These thoughts bring me to a quote I heard last night: “Want to know wisdom? Ask me everything.” God just wants us to ask him everything. He will answer us in his time and in his way. This weekend I am going to a retreat called Second Touch and I am very excited to see where God will take me from there. By Celine Masson

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