“When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.”
That's quite possibly my favourite quote from my favourite movie, The Sound of Music. It seems to be applying to me right now too.
This past year I've moved away from home, learned a new concept called "getting a job and keeping it,” had my first real and healthy heart break, completed and failed parts of my first year of university, met the most loving people in my life that I've ever encountered, all of whom led me into a prayer life, and ultimately, I met more closely, chose, and fell in love with my Jesus. Frankly, the Lord's closed so many doors and opened so many windows, that keeping track is giving me whiplash, and it’s getting drafty.
When I was asked to write this blog entry, I whole-heartedly and enthusiastically agreed. If you know me, it will be of no surprise that I also went in blindly, having no clue what I would write. As a general rule (it is by no means strict) I jump into cold water, tear Band-Aids off, and keep my shoes tied. I lead an incredible life, with this very strange love for roller-coasters, literal and metaphorical ones.
I thought, before I started writing, that I would tell you about blind faith. Which is a valiant topic, but I realized it’s not what I learned. We've all lived our entire lives with blind faith, whether or not we want to accept it. Whether or not we've created plans for our lives and are trying to do our thing and not God's... whatever faith we have, is blind, and it's often scary. What I've learned in these short few weeks of summer is this:
You know how when you walk into a room after having been in a bright room, or outside, and you feel like you're in some sort of limbo where at any moment you could be brutally attacked by a wall, or worse, your sharp object detectors (shins) might find something? You either stand very still until your eyes begin the forgiveness process, or you move really slowly and dramatically until you find flat surfaces, walking around as though you are on a confused, crooked, way too wide tight-rope. If you're like me, you slide your feet along the ground leaning forward with your whole body, feeling around everywhere as though you're doing a lyrical dance to the fear-song you have in your head. Well... what I've gone through this summer wasn't like that.
It was more like I walked in from seeing the brightest light ever humanly seen without irreparable eye damage, walked into a pitch-black room, and took a running start. I guess that's what Jesus did too. Coming from eternity in heaven to here on earth, right into death. Running start if I'd ever seen one.
What I mean by all of this is that generally, if Jesus sent you in that dark room (aka life), and you take a running start blindly, he's already done it. He's already done it, there is more eye-soothing light on the other side, and it is very likely (I'm 90% sure) there are gummy bears on the other side of the room.
I've learned that God takes care of all the things in between. All the behind-the-scenes furniture moving, if you will. If we don't move, though, we don't get to the other side of the room. We need to put in our earthly effort, no matter how small it may seem on the grand-scale, or how strenuous and awful and exhausting, boring or scary it is. We need to apply for those jobs, send those letters, have the conversations, sleep on time, read the bible, and ultimately, wake up in the morning and do what brings us true joy (Romans 14:17-19). God does the rest.
My point is: Things in life; the deep feelings you get in the pit of your heart during prayer time (especially after having been praying for many months), relationships, bachelor and degree changes, moving, failing... Yeah sure, they're scary, but so worth it. When Jesus is ahead of you in these things, you don't need to be afraid to not have money, a home, a relationship with your parents or friends and other family, a boyfriend or girlfriend, a vocation RIGHT NOW, perfect self-esteem, or a job.
But you need to go in running.